Wednesday, June 14, 2006


2000 Mythsteries and Other Pithy Shorts #24

There was a time in the newer world when missiles were carried by men on horseback riding across the desert between oceans after otherbodies sprawled wide enough to need them.

It came to pass that the men got calloused by all the riding and, anyway there arrived other forms of lugging the goods, so the horses went to pasture and the blistered men kicked back. The rulers saw a way to become involved in glory and snatched the deliveries to be conveyed under their oversight.

Lo! They did make so much money, they were able to loan some to forgetful foreign folks. In time, other bands formed wee groups doing the same duty for littler money and provided more competition than a game of hot marbles.

When the old postals saw what was happening they began to make collectors' items from the stamps by die-ing errors on the heads and soon they began to issue new stamps a lot, each new job was destined to tie in with whatever faddish things the populace was doing. Such as: flowers appeared on the stamps at Easter, flags at patriotic times, fruit in the fall and even some celeb faces graced the little stickies which by then didn't need licking because the glue made from horses was so vile the postals now stuck the stamps to little slices of shiny paper for easy uncoupling.

Indeed, it happened that the workers made so much currency they forgot the common folk who were sending these messages anyway and the workers became rude and sullen and begged for more money and filed frivolosities when they were chased by pups or some such.

Droves became annoyed and grumbled their letters were not arriving timely, so there was a big dust up and when it all settled, the postals showed remorse by huge dear commericals on image tubes to tell peons the postals were god-like. And after that message was sent out until they thought it worked, the price of the stickies went up again.

One old lady was heard to say, 'I wish they wouldn't send those warm fuzzy ads. Right afterwards, I get screwed.'

And that's how it was that regular joes went postal, as well.

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