Sex after AARP

'Sex', in hot red letters, graces the cover of the AARP magazine lying seductively in the mail box where, at first glance, it resembles my granddaughter's Cosmo. Single and enjoying my own processes of life, I cringe in terror at the thought of missing something and leaving an unearned T-shirt or mouse pad.

Inside this magazine mutation, weathly plastic seniors profess to aging as one should - with tucks, trims, sucks and stitches - and inserting those new shapes into grandkids' clothing. Taught by trainers, massaged by wannabes, coifed, colored and chauffeured to exciting careers they soon sneak into elevators for lovely lusty trysts with the next handy mate. My eyes turn green with envy.

Having sensational sex several times a day sounds like a perfect way to while away the golden years until I remember past partners and wonder if they improved with age. Shuddering, I mutter, 'Down with Viagra', and render a silent prayer of thanksgiving to Eveready.

Reading further, I learn bottled hair color should not be obvious, artificial nails should be applied religiously and I should always wear a smile on my lips, a prayer in my heart and a flirt on my hips.

Well. In the interest of saving time, money and stress, I dress in brightly colored floor-length T's that double as dress or nightie and my gray hair serves as a beacon at dusk.

I sometimes wonder who let the air out of my arms, brought my thighs to my knees and planted fanny fat in my tummy. It annoys me when I bend over and my eyes close by the lower lids, but mostly it's enough to have original hips and a beating heart. A smile is nice but not mandatory - some days hateful thoughts spill blithely from my lips.

Living, by itself, is a good thing.

Health Insurance Myth

Is Health Insurance Sick? 2000 Mythsteries and Other Pithy Shorts #1

Once upon a time in the world's richest country lived honest joes who paid agents of medical practitioners in advance for treatment of illnesses they hoped never to have.

With those monies, the agents wove personal glass and steel kingdoms until it became apparent they might have to return some funds. They ordered scribes to underwrite laws to prevent this coffer drain but, alas, the scribes overwrote until the money became soiled and was laundered in other countries. The agents continued to request larger amounts of money until regular joes could no longer pay.

One day a large group of the honest humans gathered in a small town to seek a solution. A little girl listened to their chatter for a long time before she picked up a small stick. The sky bled rage-red and transformed the stick into a powerful battering ram. Whirling, the girl bade the citizens to follow and led them to a beautiful building where with a mighty roar the girl and her ram smashed down the door of the new jail.

A cry of relief burst forth as the uninsured mass broke into the last bastion of safety where medical needs, color television, Internet hookup, law library, three meals a day and housekeeping were freely dispensed. Lo! The building's large windows were even barred to keep criminals from re-entering.

And there, thanks to the little girl, the good citizens lived happily ever after.


Between a Rock... is my original watercolor which was used as a book cover for Truth & Other Fiction 2000

JonBenet - tragedy without end

In my view, regardless of whether the new suspect is deemed guilty or not,

it would behoove the justice system to put him away, quickly and surely
it would behoove the media to forego 24/7 coverage to stay on critical news
it would behoove the judicials to write fewer laws and tighten old ones

This little girl's death caused pain for a number of people while thousands more suffer at the hands of abusive adults. Abusive adults: war initiators, bombers, genocidists, sexual predators, random killers and child-careless parents.

The suspect, whether guilty or not, increased the amount of grief and mocked human decency. No amount of legislation makes society safe from anti-people but dull-toothed wishy-washy laws could be sharpened to make earned penalties swift and sure.

Jack Paar et al

I miss Jack Paar.

I miss Dick Cavett.

I miss Johnny Carson.

It's not the men I miss. It's the conversations. Grown up talk. Not slutty. Not scatalogical. Discussions of real events in complete sentences, grammatically correct and interesting. Funny, funny skits and comments.

I yearn for bleeps and closed doors in the place of strangers' coin slots and navels. Voyeuring is not my cup of tea.

Generally, people are dumbing, no doubt about it. When I see a skit of a dog biting an anatomical protruberance and the owner of both dancing around, unlike Gene Kelly, I wanna puke. I've turned into a news junkie in order to hear sentences, mostly without humor, which saddens me.

Words have lost meaning. Several have taken away the need for descriptive sentences and for any meaningful thought process.

In the long haul, it won't matter that Paris, Tom, Jolie, Katie, Brad, Britney-burps and artificial lites are creating faux news. It won't matter that erectile dysfunction is the only treatable ailment when we can't fix electile dysfunction.

What matters is that if we don't get our minds out of the sludge, tomorrow will go missing.


Fractal created in Fractal Explorer program. Spring 2006.

Welcome Home!

Today we'll see the young man whose tour of duty was extended, extended and extended. He was sent all over the world, released twice, then recommandeered and sent off again ~ most recently to Baghdad.

He'll be off duty for 10 days, then returned to stateside duty for several more months before a final 'out' date. Fortunately, he returned with no visible physical damage.

My heart goes out to all those who've lost friends and family and those who've returned with massive damage. War is a sad and useless thing for those who are actually required to participate in it or are attacked by it.

Welcome home, Nate!! And thanks for your brave service in the an unpopular and unnecessary war. Now, maybe you can tell us the truth...

Smoke and Mirrors is a fractal created in Apophysis.

Use it or Lose it!

Use it or Lose it was a threat I remember from my teen years. Some time has passed. I may have lost it - I'm not sure; but I'm not using it - at least I don't think I am.

Today a headline in the paper caught my attention. Use it or Lose it was printed in the darkest boldest caps. I nearly ignored it. Surely it had nothing to do with me, but who knows what tomorrow might bring, so I read the smaller print.

The gist of this article maintained that if you don't use your BRAIN, you lose it. Studies show that stretching this organ increases its changes of healthy surival far into the golden years and maybe beyond.

Over the past years I've used mine almost beyond recognition. I was a left-brained computer illiterate. Today, I can design a web page, paint a watercolor that sells and write poetry and prose that is published in places you'd recognize. That feels like a stretch but I'll have to admit there are times when I'm sure I've lost it anyway.

After all this time, I wonder if I misunderstood that ultimatum issued after a movie or roller-skating date. Were those fellas with ciggies rolled up in their t-shirt sleeves and long hair slicked back into duck butts referring to using the brain? I wonder. I would ask them but I'm not sure they'd remember.

Rise the Morning Bird Watercolor by Sue, June 2006. Original available for purchase at Watercolor Gallery

War Tale

Yesterday, a family friend e-mailed with the news he'd be returning from Iraq next week. This young man has served 3 concurrent terms. One-plus in Guam. One-plus in Afghanistan. Returned to stateside duty in January 2006. A month later, he was sent to Baghdad. We haven't stopped praying and believing that this recent report is true.

Each day the news worsens as the Pandora box opened by the current administration cannot be shut any more than the original could. If you haven't yet had a personal friend or family member exposed to the War of 27 Names, the odds are narrowing. This political fiasco which serves no purpose is gaining speed to effect each of our lives. Soon, our days of being a super power will be marked by a full-fledged slide into third-worldhood.

The shifting numbers bear this out even though the controlled media forks continue to titillate the unaware with unending sleaziac tales of Mel, Katie, Tom, Suri, JLo, Paris, Brittany and Brad.

Self-extinquishing Smoking Sticks

On August 16, 2000, Governor George Pataki of New York signed the Cigarette Fire Safety Act, which made New York the first state in the nation to require the establishment of fire safety standards for cigarettes.

It's enough for a wrinkle, a wink and a giggle. Who does he think he's kidding? NY Gov. G. Pataki is headed for Iowa for a stab as Presidential Contender. Is it possible he's the same straight-faced silly man who signed this law? Yup. None other. Age doesn't improve this weirdness. Think of his meeting the Shoe Bomber. Think of his being in charge of anything.


2000 Mythsteries and Other Pithy Shorts #8

It came to pass in the days of heat and drought that many countries-within-acountry burned. Some said it was divine will, others said it was smoking sticks that caused the fearsome conflagrations.

Alas, the leaders of one big apple, in a state of confusion, passed an edict that required makers to create those coffin nails in a manner to cause them to put themselves out.

Many people cheered and admired the leaders but some were incensed by this feudal attempt to control every aspect of society.

One lad laughed uproariously when he saw the difficulty imbedded in a self-extinguishing tobacco stick and soon after that he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Several mini-countries caught up in this incendiary issue passed similar bills and in their zeal also outlawed other fire provoking instruments such as lightning, spontaneous combustion, acts of divine and accident.

In earlier days the solons required automatic matches to be built in such way as to prevent children from using them however in the days that followed it was found that children were the only mammals agile enough to operate mechanical matches.

One gaggle of solons who advocated purposeful burning of forests set off a blaze that ate many acres, unfortunately at that time no one required lawmakers to be self-extinguishing, thus they raged on.

It came to pass in those heated times that fire was so unpopular many upright citizens died from consuming only uncooked food.

And so it was in those days just before the bar fell completely and smothered society along with the fire.